May 31, 2006

Here’s an idea…

Filed under: deaths, celebrities, internet — Alex @ 10:24 pm

Screw The Belligerent Fop–visit my celebrity dead pool instead.

May 29, 2006

The Honda Accord

Filed under: video games — Alex @ 2:53 am

Alex Says:  Executed murderer Jesus Ledesma Aguilar = Piston Honda.  Hey, I'm just sayin'.

Jesus Ledesma AguilarPiston Honda
May 23, 2006

The future is coming… and it has some mighty fancy ringtones.

Filed under: religion, gay — Alex @ 3:26 am

From an "American Family Association Action Alert!" email:

A liberal activist judge has struck down a constitutional amendment in Georgia which made homosexual marriage illegal! She felt that she knew better than the voters how they should vote and threw out their ballots.

The homosexuals are determined to win this battle. They know they will never win if the people have an opportunity to vote. So they are turning to liberal activist judges to force their will on the people. They intend to force homosexual marriage down the throats of Americans.

Donald WildmonAlex Says:  I signed up for the AFA emails just to study The Enemy.  I never would've imagined how often they use the violent sodomitic phrase "shove down the throat."  Mind out of the gutter, people.

It's also worth noting how badly the AFA emails are written.  The sentence structure is childish.  Short staccato sentences.  Driving points home.  They hope.  Just like this.

The good news is that Mr. Wildmon (Donald E. Wildmon, "founder and chairman," pictured) is incorrect:  The juggernaut known as The Millenium Babies is about to roll over him.  Any and all polling of the 72 million kids born between 1985 and 2000 shows that they really don't seem to have a problem with gay marriage.  Whether it's because of apathy (why do breeders GIVE a shit?) or common sense (why DO breeders give a shit?) doesn't matter–it's MATH.  Wait a few years, and Fag-Hating Codger will be dead.  His grandson, Ike the Leather Daddy, will be voting instead.

Our Day Will Come.  And when it does, my wedding cake will be in the shape of Mr. Wildmon, so he'll have to watch his worst fears come true.  Then all my gay friends will slice into him and eat his cake-like flesh… with a dab of Liberty Icing. 

Little dab, though.  Don't wanna get fat.

Screw yer polls. How ’bout THIS?

Filed under: george w. bush, government — Alex @ 3:10 am

(NY Times) - An audio version of the roast of President Bush by Stephen Colbert of Comedy Central rose to the rank of No. 1 album at Apple's iTunes store on Saturday, three weeks to the night of the White House Correspondents Dinner.

Alex Says:  I find that to be remarkable.  And strangely affirming.

May 18, 2006

What happened to the good memorials?

Filed under: government, gay — Alex @ 2:38 am

(AFP) Vienna authorities announced plans Monday to erect a pink memorial next year to commemorate homosexuals persecuted by the Nazis during World War II.

The planned memorial at the city centre's Morzinplatz will consist of a sculpture and a shallow pool filled with pink-coloured water, its creator Hans Kupelwieser said Monday at the presentation of the €310 000 ($400 000) project.

Alex Says:  Gee, but will people know it's for gays?

The article doesn't say what the sculpture will actually depict.  I vote for Paul Lynde.

In related news, have you guys heard about these steps left over from the World Trade Center?  There was a stairwell leading down from the plaza that saved hundreds of lives, and now they're going to either knock it down or try to RELOCATE this very delicate landmark, rather than just incorporate it into the memorial design.

Good plan.  Yeah, you wouldn't want to mess up that big fuckin' pit with waterfalls dumping into it.  That's much more meaningful than the STAIRWELL THAT ACTUALLY SAVED PEOPLE.

Oh, and that World War II Memorial in D.C. looks like something from the '36 Berlin Olympics.  Way to think that one through, guys.

World War II Memorial

Do these pantswa make me look fatwa?

Filed under: gay — Alex @ 2:25 am

AyatollahFrom the last Gay & Lesbian Leadership SmartBrief:  "Iraqi Grand Ayatollah Ali al-Sistani has agreed to remove from his Web site a fatwa calling for the killing of gay men in the 'worst, most severe way possible,' but has refused to stop a similar call for punishment of lesbians."

Alex Says:  Well goddamn.  Ali-Ali-Oxen-Free isn't kidding around.  Peculiar, though, that he'd want harsher treatment of lesbians than those nasty HomoFags–I think somebody has "issues."  I'm lookin' at you, Ayatollah of Cum'n'Cola.

From the same SmartBrief:

"Sigma Phi Beta's national board of directors has voted to allow transgender members who identify as male to seek membership."

Alex Says:  "Dude!  We can drink with him, then fuck her!  It's a win-win!"




May 12, 2006

Pet Peeve

Filed under: government, animals — Alex @ 2:24 am

From a email:

"Contact your members of Congress today and urge them to pass the Pet Evacuation and Transportation Standards (PETS) Act, which requires state and local authorities to consider the needs of people with pets and service animals in disaster plans. Please act now to save pets from the next disaster."

Alex Says:  I'd like to meet the politician that OPPOSES the "save people's pets" act.  Seems like that'd be a tough one to explain to the folks back home.  "You have my oath, as your elected official, that I will do everything in my power to make sure your pets do not survive even the most minor of disasters.  Earthquake?  Dead.  Thunderstorm?  Dead.  Thank you, and God bless America."

And this guy wants to be president?

Filed under: government, republicans — Alex @ 2:17 am
Bill Frist being lewd.
"HEEEEEY!  Her bazongas were dis-a big!"
May 1, 2006

Ray of Goddamn Sunshine

Filed under: celebrities — Alex @ 12:12 am

Rachel RayFrom an AP article about Time Magazine's 100 Most Influential People:

Wildly popular U.S. cooking show host Rachael Ray has inspired working people to "eschew the trap of fast-food facility and truly cook — even the easy fast stuff — at home."

Alex Says:  Apocalypse, party of one?

This is a woman who has a show to see it it's humanly possible for her to eat on a mere forty U.S. dollars a day.  The majority of the world LIVES on two dollars a day, and this American icon of gluttony CHALLENGES herself to get by on forty.  "WILL SHE MAKE IT?  OH GOD I HOPE SO!"

The only thing Rachel Ray inspires me to do is smile less.

But, speaking of Food Network… what's up with Guy winning the Food Network Star competition?  Apocalypse, party of two?

Shameless plug: