March 30, 2006

Taxidermy sucks.

Filed under: animals — Alex @ 7:55 pm

A badly-written summary of the life of Sgt. Stubby, reprinted from

Sgt Stubby, Dog MummySTUBBY, Bull Terrier mix, WWI. The most decorated war dog in U.S. history. As a small, stray bull terrier, he was smuggled aboard a troop ship to France. There he was wounded in no-man's land but recovered and still served in battles at Chateau Thierry, the Marne and the Meuse-Argonne with the men of the 102nd Infantry. One night in February 1918, he roused a sleeping sergeant to warn of a gas attack, giving the soldiers time to don masks and thus saving them. Gen John "Black Jack" Pershing awarded him a special Gold Medal. He was given Life Membership in the American Legion and the Red Cross. He met Presidents Wilson, Harding, and Coolidge. He died of old age in 1926. Stubby is now on display as part of American military history in the Hartford Armory in Connecticut and is called "Sergeant Stubby".

Alex Says:  As a pit bull fan and animal lover in general, I find this story charming… until you get to the part where they mummified poor Stubby.  I found pictures online of Stuffed Stubby, and it's just depressing.  I'll spare you.

And why are we preserving his corpse, exactly?  He's not like a dinosaur–we have plenty of PHOTOS of Stubby.  There might even be films.  Bury that poor bastard!

Kiss & Make-Up. Lots of make-up.

Filed under: celebrities — Alex @ 7:33 pm

(IMDb News) - Desperate Housewives Ryan Seacrest tongue-probing supercentenarian Teri Hatcherstar Teri Hatcher and American Idol host Ryan Seacrest have been photographed kissing after a cozy lunch in Malibu, California.

Alex Says:  Umm… ewwww?  She's only ten years his senior, but looks far, far older.  It's the neck and all that weird sinewy stuff.  Learn from Robert Wagner, Teri:  Wear turtlenecks.

Robert Wagner:  Turtleneck ManIncidentally, the same IMDb News report has this zinger:  "TV stars Matthew Perry and Kristin Davis are Hollywood's new 'it' couple, according to new reports. "

Um, no.  No they're not.  Both are, what's the word… "unemployed?"  "Forgotten?"  "Really hip newsmakers, circa 2001?"

In looking for the picture of R.J. in the turtleneck, I found this much funnier picture; perhaps it's time to start playing Wagner in my celebrity dead pool:

Robert Wagner looking confused

March 29, 2006

Hometown heroes.

Filed under: oklahoma — Alex @ 4:40 pm

"The Oklahoma board of education has Rep. Kevin Calveychanged its antidiscrimination policy to eliminate sexual orientation as a protected category. The new policy, requested by state Rep. Kevin Calvey, a Republican seeking a seat in the U.S. House of Representatives, would shield schools from having to allow gay rights activists to meet on school property, he said. "

Alex Says:  Whew, thank God.  Dodged a bullet there.  I'm sure the high schools in Del City, OK–which is Kevin's district–are just knee-deep in "gay rights activists."

This is a result of the Equality Ride stopping at Oklahoma Baptist in Shawnee to protest OBU's policy of not allowing GLBT students to attend.  Until recently, even straight students who dared to think that gay people aren't demons were also barred.  If you're gay and WANTING to attend OBU, you deserve to be expelled.

Let’s not split hares.

Filed under: deaths — Alex @ 4:26 pm

(AP) SPENCER, Wis. - A woman who died at her Spencer home was apparently suffocated by a ceramic decorative plate, shaped like an Easter bunny, that had been shoved down her throat, authorities said as they charged her husband with murder.

Easter bunny

Patrick Zurkowski, 38, was charged Monday in Marathon County Circuit Court with first-degree intentional homicide in the death of his wife, June Zurkowski, 40.

Assistant District Attorney Ken Heimerman said an autopsy found parts of the plate had broken off and lodged in the victim's throat, blocking her airway. The pieces were believed to be the bunny ears missing from a plate found in the home.

Alex Says:  Let's not judge him too harshly.  If she had an Easter Bunny plate, she was probably a pretty obnoxious woman.  Am I right?  Or am I right?

Shameless link.

Not surprisingly, it’s Scottish.

Filed under: internet — Alex @ 4:15 pm

From Wikipedia:

Cabbaging is a game in which players, known as Cabbagers, attempt to reach the oldest page on a website in a given number of clicks from a predefined starting point. 

Tunnock'sCabbaging was first played by five people sharing an office in Peebles, Scotland, who used it as a way to decide who should eat the "spare" Tunnock's Tea Cake from a pack of six.

Alex Says:  What the hell's wrong with these people?  Haven't they ever heard of "evens/odds?"  Or "My mom and your mom were out hanging clothes?" Wouldn't they have more fun with my celebrity death pool?

March 28, 2006

Hometown Heroes

Filed under: durant — Alex @ 3:15 am

Alex Says:  Straight from the pages of my hometown newspaper, The Durant Daily Democrat:

DURANT - Two children were taken into protective custody for an evening after their mother left them in the parking lot of a tavern while she went inside to dance, according to Durant Police.

Patrolman Russell Harkey was dispatched at 12:10 a.m. Saturday to Tiny's Bar on South Ninth Avenue after a State Department of Human Services employee saw two small children inside a car in the parking lot.

Alex Says:  While the entire situation speaks well for Durant's citizenry, it's the DHS employee's story that intrigues me the most.  That, and my kick-ass celebrity dead pool.

March 24, 2006

The Weekend Download!

Filed under: downloads, republicans — Alex @ 5:50 pm

A blast from the past:  Remember that asinine anti-Howard Dean commercial, with the old couple calling him a filthy latte-drinker?  No?  Get it here.  WMV, 1.09 meg.

Nothing new, but nice to have data.

Filed under: religion — Alex @ 3:29 am

Amusing tidbit from

Torture FunCrunching the numbers on a recent Pew poll, [Andrew] Sullivan discovers that 57 percent of the people who describe themselves as "secular" say that torture is either never or rarely justified. Only 49 percent of white Protestants and only 42 percent of Roman Catholics are similarly torture-averse. "In other words," Sullivan says, "if you are an American Christian, you are more likely to support torture than if you are an atheist or agnostic." Sullivan — who has been grappling of late with his own feelings of "shame and sorrow" for errors along the way to Iraq — calls Christians for Torture "a new constituency" and "another part of the Bush legacy."

It’s all so… stupid…

Filed under: george w. bush, republicans — Alex @ 3:20 am

Alex Says:  I subscribe to every GOP email list I can, because I love the constant rage those messages provide.  Reminds me that I'm ALIVE.  And, of course, sane.

Ken Mehlman, demonic chairman of the Republican National CommitteeAllow me to quote from a March 23rd mass email from, attributed to Ken Mehlman:

"The Democrats' plan for 2006? Take the House and Senate, and impeach the President. With our nation at war, is this the kind of Congress you want? If your answer is a resounding NO, I need you to make an urgent contribution to help us win this fight."

My God, if only that WAS the Democrats' plan, they might actually take both houses.  Is this really a logical strategy for the Republicans to be taking when Bush's poll numbers are plummeting?  I'm told it's their attempt to look unified; I'd stick with gay-bashing, because rallying behind an extremely unpopular president is not a good plan.

And, I might add, the whole point is that Bush knowingly broke the law.  That's where the "impeachment" part comes from, 'ya see.  When ya' break the LAW, you face the consequences.  That's how it works (If he can speak like a condescending Sunday school teacher, I can too).

More from the email:

"Democrat leaders' talk of censure and Russ Feingoldimpeachment isn't about the law or the President doing anything wrong. It's about the fact that Democrat leaders don't want America to fight the War on Terror with every tool in our arsenal."

That's just so… fucking… stupid.  If that even seems like a reasonable statement to you–if you think that all Democrats, which make up roughly half the country, are demanding that we half-ass our homeland security "just to show we can"–then you are a goddamned idiot.

The email again:

"And what happens if we stand on the sidelines, and give the likes of Russ Feingold, John Kerry, and John Conyers control of Congress?"

Umm… a better… country?  Oversight?  Checks and balances?  Salvation?

The loaves & the fishes, via semi.

Filed under: religion — Alex @ 1:14 am

(AP) KINGDOM CITY, Mo. — The billboards out the window in this part of central Missouri advertise rock-bottom prices on adult videos and getaways to the Ozark Mountains. But at the truck stop just off Interstate 70, Chaplain Bob Holt is making another kind of promise to weary truckers: salvation.

For eight years, Holt has led daily services from a converted trailer parked in a truck stop — a place he sees as filled with temptation. And on Thursday, he and fellow missionaries at nearly 100 travel plaza chapels across the country will hold a morning fellowship meeting to celebrate their calling on the seventh annual National Day of Prayer for Truckers.

Truckers for Jesus logo"The devil's trying to keep them from coming in here," said Holt, standing in his modest trailer. 

Holt's sessions start each night at 7 p.m. inside the single-wide trailer, decorated with an airbrushed passage that reads "Jesus said: Come to me all you truckers who are weary and heavy loaded and I will give you rest."

Alex Says:  Is this really what truckers want?  Wouldn't a shower and some sleep be more rewarding?  Can you just send in your prayers via CB?  "Breaker breaker, this is Roscoe hollerin' at the Lord."

And Missouri is just kidding itself if it thinks those adult bookstores are just for truckers.  The local gentry may be at church on Sunday, but I can assure you those dirty old men are in the sex shops on their lunch breaks.